Crockett's Veterinarian Record

Yesterday (9/6/05) was not a good day. When I awoke, Casey tried to make it a good day by refusing to quit licking my face, eyes, nose and trying to get that slender tongue between my tightly closed lips until I started laughing. She has the ability to make me laugh even when my heart is breaking from the loss of Crockett.

At work, a co-worker kept me busy all morning. When there was someone in the office, it wasn't so bad. But when everyone left at 4:30 - 5:00 PM, the office was deathly quiet. And that's when the ache of loss crept in and the tears came.

It's not easy to answer a phone call when you're sobbing. Yes, more than crying, getting where my teeth were chattering. Missing Crockett terribly.

Yesterday was also a 'down' day for Casey. She plopped down and didn't much want to move. I came home during lunch time to walk her. When I brought her in and was about to leave, she tried to lead me to the bedroom. She wanted me to lie down beside her and scratch her tummy and give her my kisses.

After work, I took the poem I'd written for Crockett's Godmama out to the grave and placed it there. No, I won't publish the poem without her permission.

Today, 9/7/05, needs to become a good day. I have tons of work to do and very little time to do it. I need to go into work a bit early these next three mornings to get in more computer time.

You don't mourn what you don't love. And I loved Crockett dearly. A couple friends have told me it took them 6 months to complete the mourning process for pets they lost. One friend lost a sister shortly after losing a dog. She still grieves for that sister. I still grieve for my grandmother who passed away August 1, 1980. Crockett's Godmama still grieves for her cat, Kelley.

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Well, I'd prefer to be one-dog-weaker, thank you very much.

Casey doesn't go outside, even if it's just from car to house without a leash. I couldn't take losing both of my 'fur kids' -- that would surely "kill" me.

Count your blessings and go kiss your spouse. (No spouse? Make that significant-other-of-the-complementing-gender an honest person. No significant-other-of-the-complementing-other? Kiss the dog, cat, gerbil, ferret, bird, pet.)

The topic -- I failed to mention earlier that I made Casey's Vet appointment yesterday and had to tell them to write on Crockett's Vet record: Died 9/3/05 by hit and run. That just made it all too final. NOW go kiss the dog.