Seize the Day, but Capture the Moment

I've been told that I think too much.

Two people have told me this. My own Mother and one of my best friends.

So of course, this got me to thinking.

And they're right. It's either a genetic characteristic or a deeply ingrained habit. If it's a habit, it can be broken. If it's genetic, then it's something I'll have to decide to overcome.

I got to thinking deeper and realized that both my Mother and my best friend are 'seize the day, but capture the moment' people. More deep thought leads me to the probable conclusion that my Father is (and both sets of Grandparents were) also 'seize the day, but capture the moment' people.

Which of course led me into even deeper thought -- and a revelation. Somewhere along the journey of life, my train got on a side-track headed for no-where always thinking but never enough 'time' to do.

I am by nature a helper, a rescuer, a resolver of the present conflict. That's why I'm so good at what I do. But I am also a slug. Not a bullet, the slimy mollusk. The innards of a snail. A slug. Maybe also I'm like a bullet-slug, too. (Again, too much thinking going on here.)

I actually DO think too much.

I don't DO because I'm spending my DO time thinking too much.

My parents, children and best friends will all nod their collective heads reading this post.

So, what do I do with this newly garnered revelation? How do I assimilate it into my being, my personality, my 'ethic' (if you will) of living? THAT is the question. And what is your final answer? More thinking? Bllleeeeeep, wrong. The answer is "less thinking, more doing."

So how will this change, this paradigm shift, occur? Will it be a painless change? (There are very few painless changes in life.)

First, I'll have to think about not thinking so much. Then, I'll have to 'do' without 'thinking about the doing.' The 'thinking about thinking too much' will be the final curtain call (oh, there will be encores, I'm sure) of thinking-too-much.

My Mother has been trying to tell me this for years but it wasn't getting through because my brain was too busy 'thinking.' My train was on a side-track. If you know anything about trains, you know that there are two kinds of 'side-tracks.' One has a dead end. One merges back onto the main track.

So, I have a choice to make: crash into the dead-end or merge back into the main track.

Do you think I should 'think about it?' Nooo???

Seize the day, but capture the moment.

This is going to take a bit of time to become a fully ingrained habit (the train is long, old and slow). And merging onto the main track means there will be the 'bump' at the merge. I may do something I'll regret later, like toss out something that I end up really needing. But what are the odds of that? "If you haven't worn it in the past two years, give it to the (domestic violence) Thrift Store." (Exception: if it has significant meaning, keep it.) All the copies of things I made from the internet years ago - - trash. (This is the painful part. Mama, it hurts! It hurts because trashing all those papers means that I made copies needlessly, recklessly, using up precious resources of ink and paper!) (I can already hear the patter of my feet running down the tiled hallway of the mental ward in the hospital as I am screaming at the top of my lungs: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't throw that out!)

CAN I even 'DO' such a drastic thing? Can I even 'toss' with abandon what I have so eagerly clutched for so long? Will I end up running down the hallway of the hospital mental ward, screaming my head off, because all my 'clutter' priceless possessions have been taken to the County dumping station?

This is major surgery y'all. And *I* am the surgeon AND the patient. This is no 'walk in the park.' (Mom, the English Major, will enjoy the mixed metaphors.) I'm 61 years old. This is a deeply ingrained habit. (If it were a genetic trait, do you think I could apply for minority status?) (Apparently humor IS a genetic trait.)

I look around my house. Yikes. I have accumulated a lot of dust, dog hair, and debris (like the alliteration there?) of many years. I've been in this house since Christmas 1998 -- and amazingly, it's nearly Christmas 2005 and I have received this revelation: Seize the Day, but Capture the Moment.

You getting chill bumps yet?

If you've read the blog, you know that I recently lost the dearest thing to my heart, Crockett, my buff colored Cocker Spaniel. He came into my life for 22 very beautiful months. But I have to admit, they were months spent 'thinking' too much. I didn't seize the day. I failed to capture the moment. And then Crockett was run over, just 3 months ago, and my heart broke. Out of Crockett's death have emerged, like a phoenix, many blessings. I have two dearest friends, willing to confront me about my sluggish ways and to stick with me while I clutch onto the fragments of my disordered existence.

Seize the Day, but Capture the Moment. This is not going to be easy. Should I maybe 'think about it' a bit longer?

{Chorus of voices in background: NOOOOOOO! Just DO it!}

Taking a deep breath . . . I . . . yi . . . yi . . . yi . . . yi.