Self-Absorption

It's been a bit since I last posted. Not because I didn't have things to post, I just let other things get in the way.

The current topic is "Self-Absorption." You pretty much know what it means: Excessively self-involved; preoccupation with yourself to the exclusion of everything else. Pretty much describes most of us. Maybe not Mother Teresa, when she was alive, and a few other "living saints" you or I could name. But for the most part, we all have times when all we are thinking of is ourselves. There's no denying it and if you are to protest, you're suspect. The 'correct' answer is "yes, I am self-absorbed at times."

True story that proves my point: About a year and a half ago, I met a very nice lady who since has adopted three of four grandchildren (she's still trying for the fourth). I've mentioned her previously in my blog. Well, shortly after getting to know her, I realized that I was the only friend she had. When her husband was alive, there were a few couples that they were close to. But as soon as he passed away -- the women became fearful that their husbands would be enticed by this "single-again" woman, and she found herself with very few friends. Those that remain are as old as she and are caring for ailing spouses, and as such have little time to offer in friendship.

So, I get this wild idea that the 'thing' for me to do to help her is to write a letter to our Priest asking him to find some Church families to befriend my friend and each of the three grandchildren. Yes, I used the term "self-absorption" in my letter. Big Mistake. I dropped off the letter at Church and within a few days received a "reply" from the Priest. In the letter (which I tossed) he proved my point by telling me about all the committees he is a member of. He never once said anything about cleaning anyone's commode or sweeping anyone's floor or offering to child-sit so someone could attend a function. In fact, he never said what he actually 'did' on any of the committees, only that he is a member of them. Now, I have a distinct opinion that God is not going to care much about what committees a person is on. From what I read in the Bible and in Church Traditions, it's more important to DO than just to BE. I can be a scholar but if I don't share the wealth of my studies, then I'm self-absorbed. I can be a musician, but if I don't share my music with others, then I am self-absorbed. I can be a person of prayer and fasting, but if I don't pray and fast for others, then I am self-absorbed. I can be a parent, but if I don't parent (discipline) my children, then I am self-absorbed. You get the picture yet?

Good.

What he also wrote in the letter is that until and unless I contact him for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I am not in full-communion with the Church. In other words, don't come for Eucharist in his Church or I will be denied. Not a problem. Hell hasn't frozen over yet.

Lord have mercy, I can hear the gasps from here. How can she say that? Easy. About 4 years ago, while at the Church's Fall Festival, I got verbally accosted and physically poked in the shoulder (twice) by the couple who were in charge of the Festival. Like a true Biblical scholar, I followed St. Paul's guidelines and wrote a letter of apology. I had done nothing wrong, but they thought I had. Not being from around here (aka not Southerners), they had responded as most non-Southerners do, and attempted to verbally toss me off Church property. I had as much right to be there as they, but they disagreed. (I was there in my job capacity, and had the Priest's permission to be there.) As I left, I knew I had to apologize for not 'warning' them that I'd be there representing my employer. I apologized in writing. They never responded. They never acknowledged my apology. Now, I COULD have gone back to Church and ignored them, but I don't personally think that is what God wanted me to do. He seems to be taking His time in softening their hearts. I trust that He will do His Will "in the fullness of time" as he always has. So that's why I can say: Hell hasn't frozen over yet.

In the meantime, I'm not attending Mass unless I attend when I am visiting elsewhere. My parents are concerned, but as my Mom said: The trouble with me is that I know too much. I can't go "back" to other disciplines, faith-walks, or churches. And for me, there is no more going forward. It all stops for me at the Upper Room and the institution of the Eucharist by Christ and the conferring on St. Peter the Keys to the Kingdom.

So, there you have it. Yes, at times I too am self-absorbed. And at times, I am other-absorbed. At all times, I am in prayer.

God Bless You, dear reader.